Clarity

Well, its only been 3 weeks since diagnosis and it feels like its been an eternity. I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about oncology, tumors, cells, chemo, etc. I think yesterday the reality of this all finally sunk in. I will try my best to throw some humor in this, but Im at a low point right now. Yesterdays visit with Dr. Joni Nichols was amazing yet gut wrenching. She is an amazing, comforting, sincere doctor. She layed it all out for me...some of it I retained...some of it I need to ask about again. I've asked several people to pray for clarity in some of these huge decisions I have to make, and yesterday I received the answers to your prayer. My path of treatment is very clear with a few things that will just depend on whether or not this cancer has spread anywhere else in my body. I will be starting with chemo. Im scheduled next friday to have a minor surgery in which they will place a port in my chest for the chemo treatments. I guess its like a plug in for the IV (YUCK!!) I tried to get out of it because I didnt want to feel like the bionic woman...(Or man once Im bald) But she told me that was my only option, I will need to keep the port for a year since I will need a specific drug to treat the HER2+ aspect of the tumor. Oh well, I tried!! I will also have some lymphnodes removed to be tested. somewhere between now and then I will also go in for a PET/CT scan. I've had some random symptoms that she just wants to rule out any possibility that the cancer may have spread. So, after all that I came right home and went straight to Google! I've been banned from Google by friends and family, although I have not listened to them! Ha. I am now called the "googlewhore" LOL I am up around 5am googling random things like...."will my eyebrows fall out during chemo?" or "Does Starbucks coffee cause breast cancer?" Whatever my crazy brain is thinking...Google has an answer for. The nice thing about it is...I can search until I find the answer I like!! I try to stay with reputable sources/websites, but every now and then I find myself somewhere I'd rather not be reading horror stories. Gotta love the bathroom stall of the world, otherwise known as the internet!! I always end with a thanks to everyone. I would not be as strong or as brave without the many of you I have in my life. Many of you have made me who I am today. God continues to bless my life each and every day through the friends that he puts in my path. Keep up the prayers, positive thoughts, mojo, whatever it is you send my way...its working, and I continue to feel the love you all send. Until next time...4ever in Faith