Clarity

Well, its only been 3 weeks since diagnosis and it feels like its been an eternity. I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about oncology, tumors, cells, chemo, etc. I think yesterday the reality of this all finally sunk in. I will try my best to throw some humor in this, but Im at a low point right now. Yesterdays visit with Dr. Joni Nichols was amazing yet gut wrenching. She is an amazing, comforting, sincere doctor. She layed it all out for me...some of it I retained...some of it I need to ask about again. I've asked several people to pray for clarity in some of these huge decisions I have to make, and yesterday I received the answers to your prayer. My path of treatment is very clear with a few things that will just depend on whether or not this cancer has spread anywhere else in my body. I will be starting with chemo. Im scheduled next friday to have a minor surgery in which they will place a port in my chest for the chemo treatments. I guess its like a plug in for the IV (YUCK!!) I tried to get out of it because I didnt want to feel like the bionic woman...(Or man once Im bald) But she told me that was my only option, I will need to keep the port for a year since I will need a specific drug to treat the HER2+ aspect of the tumor. Oh well, I tried!! I will also have some lymphnodes removed to be tested. somewhere between now and then I will also go in for a PET/CT scan. I've had some random symptoms that she just wants to rule out any possibility that the cancer may have spread. So, after all that I came right home and went straight to Google! I've been banned from Google by friends and family, although I have not listened to them! Ha. I am now called the "googlewhore" LOL I am up around 5am googling random things like...."will my eyebrows fall out during chemo?" or "Does Starbucks coffee cause breast cancer?" Whatever my crazy brain is thinking...Google has an answer for. The nice thing about it is...I can search until I find the answer I like!! I try to stay with reputable sources/websites, but every now and then I find myself somewhere I'd rather not be reading horror stories. Gotta love the bathroom stall of the world, otherwise known as the internet!! I always end with a thanks to everyone. I would not be as strong or as brave without the many of you I have in my life. Many of you have made me who I am today. God continues to bless my life each and every day through the friends that he puts in my path. Keep up the prayers, positive thoughts, mojo, whatever it is you send my way...its working, and I continue to feel the love you all send. Until next time...4ever in Faith

Doctor Doctor??

Doctor Doctor on the wall....who's the wisest of them all?? Hahaha! Well I met with Dr. Parviz, really liked her. So that's good! I meet with Joni Nichols...chemo doc on Monday. Excited bout that...I've heard nothing but great things about her. New plan may be chemo first, then surgery!! Aaaaaagggghhhh, I'm ready to be bald, but not this soon!! I really don't think I'm ready to be bald. Lol My head is spinning with all the different recomendations so I don't think I will even try to post anything yet, I think it would come out as a garbled mess! Met another survivor today at the kids' dentist...and guess what....her hair came back with some curl! Im tellin ya....I will have curly hair! And she told me about the"chemo diet" 30 lbs in 30 days! No pain, no gain, right? Right? One more amazing thing...Props to the staff at horizon credit union! Specifically Denise for putting our name in. The staff pays to wear jeans on fridays...the money they collect goes to someone in the community going through a tough time. We got a letter saying $450 was deposited into an account for us! How awesome is that! How come stuff like that is never on the news? Instead we hear the dipstick talkin about..."hide yer kids....hide yer wife..." And if you don't know what Im talking about.....where have you been?? Lol There are amazing people all around us!! I am so blessed to have so many of you in my life...praying, fighting, and standing in faith with me and my family during this time in my life. Thank you all again for your encouraging words and prayers...I feel them everyday! Love you all!

It is what it is...accept it!

Well...its been 2 weeks now. Ive accepted the fact that I have cancer...although it still sounds weird to hear...but I know this is just part of my mission to glorify God. I've done alot of soul searching these past 2 weeks and my relationship with my heavenly father couldn't be any closer. So, what's next? Tomorrow I meet with a new surgical oncologist for a second opinion. I originally started with rockwood, but cancer care northwest came highly recommended. I figure this is my body, a huge step, I better feel confident with the surgeon. I just didn't feel that with the first oncologist. Just to let you know the "plan", I'm looking at a bi-latetal mastectomy with reconstructive surgery. Sounds so....medical......basically, get rid of the old boobs and get a new pair!! Younger ones!! That haven't gone through 3 pregnancies!! Depending on what they find after surgery will determine my chemo. The Pathology report and MRI are showing 2 different sizes of the tumor. My question....will I lose my hair? Absolutely! Was the answer. SAWEET! I already know what I will look like bald...my brother! Haha. I definatly see wigs in my future! I've heard hair can come back thicker or curly, so Im banking on beautiful curly hair when Im done with this...one hell of a perm, huh? I totally believe in the power of the spoken word, and a positive attitude. I could take this experience and feel sorry for myself, or I can turn it around and show my humorous approach on life. I know I will have bad days, but I CHOOSE to make the best of them! I can't thank you all enough for all the support. Love you all!

I have what??

It's amazing how fast life can change from one day to the next. This is exactly what happened to my life and my family just 10 days ago. Welcome to my....our......journey with breast cancer. On March 28 I went to the doctor for what I thought was just a long over due physical. I'd been feeling a little tired, but never guessed how that 1 long overdue appt would forever change my life. The doctor found a small lump in my right breast..it's probably just a cyst she said but you should get it checked out. 2 days later I was getting my first mammogram and ultrasound. It's not a cyst I was told...more like a "mass" The next step....needle biopsy. My emotional roller coaster is now in motion! They scheduled an appointment after my biopsy to get the results. 4 days later.....just 8 days from my first visit to the doctor, James and I were told that my biopsy had come back positive for breast cancer. 37 years old....no family history...how could this be?!? As the doctor went into details, I remember feeling numb. I couldn't look at James. I was trying to process what she was saying, but I just kept thinking about my family. How would we tell the kids? That all took place on April 5, 2011. The day that changed my families life forever. So, the last 2 weeks I've been praying for God to walk with me and comfort me in the many hard decisions ahead. I'm thankful for all of my amazing friends and family. This begins our story....one of perserverance.....one of faith....one of triumph! Thank you to all of you reading this for your support and prayer.